http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/-t1.htm Heard a good one? Share it in here! Wed, 10 Dec 2008 02:11:03 GMT 10 http://i45.servimg.com/u/f45/12/65/05/33/mmslog11.jpg http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/-t1.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/madonna-t169.htm flatshot English.

She is now an unmarried single mother with three kids from three different
fathers, one of them black.

Job done.]]> Jokes Wed, 10 Dec 2008 02:11:03 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/madonna-t169.htm#477 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/madonna-t169.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/baby-s-first-doctors-visit-t103.htm EasyRider Baby's First Doctor Visit A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. 'Breast-fed,' she replied. 'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while ... Jokes Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:11:09 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/baby-s-first-doctors-visit-t103.htm#196 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/baby-s-first-doctors-visit-t103.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-jealous-husband-t102.htm Overseer A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities. A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. ... Jokes Mon, 09 Jun 2008 04:35:42 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-jealous-husband-t102.htm#194 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-jealous-husband-t102.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/mother-teresa-and-god-t101.htm Overseer Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greeted her at the Pearly Gates. "Be thou hungry, Mother Teresa?" asked God. "I could eat," Mother Teresa replied. So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of rye bread and they began to share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, and pastries. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remained quiet. The next day ... Jokes Mon, 09 Jun 2008 04:33:39 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/mother-teresa-and-god-t101.htm#193 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/mother-teresa-and-god-t101.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/only-for-hot-guys-and-hot-girls-t76.htm Overseer Only for hot guys and girls. Warning ! ... This is only for Hot Guys and Hot Girls ... If you think you are HOT ... then only scroll down... . . . . . . . Click on the link below ONLY if you are a Hot guy or a Hot girl! http://www.geocities.com/mmsthemothership/coolstuff/hotguysngirlsonly.gif Jokes Tue, 27 May 2008 01:11:59 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/only-for-hot-guys-and-hot-girls-t76.htm#144 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/only-for-hot-guys-and-hot-girls-t76.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/unhappy-customer-t96.htm Overseer http://funzu.com/index.php/crazy-video/just-for-laughs-unhappy-customer-20052008.html]]> Jokes Thu, 29 May 2008 04:44:17 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/unhappy-customer-t96.htm#176 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/unhappy-customer-t96.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/one-linershidden-meanings-t95.htm Overseer 1."We will do it" means "You will do it" 2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you" 3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same" 4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!" 5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, ... Jokes Thu, 29 May 2008 04:22:25 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/one-linershidden-meanings-t95.htm#175 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/one-linershidden-meanings-t95.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/never-lie-to-a-woman-t94.htm Overseer A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing in Ireland with my boss & several of his Friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I'v been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up" "Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas." The wife thinks this ... Jokes Thu, 29 May 2008 04:06:41 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/never-lie-to-a-woman-t94.htm#174 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/never-lie-to-a-woman-t94.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-student-vs-the-professor-t92.htm Overseer After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it. Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?" Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!" Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give ... Jokes Thu, 29 May 2008 04:02:27 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-student-vs-the-professor-t92.htm#172 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-student-vs-the-professor-t92.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/wabbit-know-how-to-make-wishes-t91.htm Overseer One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole. The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another animal before. But today, by chance a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant both of you three wishes. Bear, you can go first." The bear thought for a moment, and being the male he was, said, ... Jokes Thu, 29 May 2008 03:57:29 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/wabbit-know-how-to-make-wishes-t91.htm#171 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/wabbit-know-how-to-make-wishes-t91.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/man-s-favourite-tool-t90.htm Overseer http://funzu.com/index.php/crazy-video/mans-favorite-tool-18-funny-23052008.html]]> Jokes Thu, 29 May 2008 03:51:39 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/man-s-favourite-tool-t90.htm#170 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/man-s-favourite-tool-t90.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/do-men-remember-anniversaries-t88.htm Overseer A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. 'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time ... Jokes Wed, 28 May 2008 03:49:16 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/do-men-remember-anniversaries-t88.htm#156 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/do-men-remember-anniversaries-t88.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/why-men-wear-earrings-t86.htm Overseer I have often wondered how this trend got started, I now have the answer. A bloke is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This bloke knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The bloke walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring, "he replies sheepishly. His ... Jokes Tue, 27 May 2008 06:33:08 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/why-men-wear-earrings-t86.htm#154 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/why-men-wear-earrings-t86.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/impress-a-girl-ooops-t85.htm Overseer
http://funzu.com/index.php/crazy-video/impress-a-girl-ooops-23052008.html]]> Jokes Tue, 27 May 2008 06:22:25 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/impress-a-girl-ooops-t85.htm#153 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/impress-a-girl-ooops-t85.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/dear-dad-t84.htm Overseer A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:- Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Ricky because I wanted ... Jokes Tue, 27 May 2008 06:13:52 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/dear-dad-t84.htm#152 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/dear-dad-t84.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/21st-century-bride-t83.htm Overseer A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner. She was asked to give a little speech. She addressed as follows: "My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family", she said "Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don't want you all to change your way of life, your routine." "What do you mean my child?" asked the ... Jokes Tue, 27 May 2008 06:03:57 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/21st-century-bride-t83.htm#151 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/21st-century-bride-t83.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/children-are-too-much-t82.htm Overseer A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello?" "Is your daddy home?" he asked. "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" The child whispered, "No." Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is ... Jokes Tue, 27 May 2008 05:56:34 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/children-are-too-much-t82.htm#150 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/children-are-too-much-t82.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/sticky-off-bottoms-t79.htm Overseer
http://funzu.com/index.php/crazy-video/just-for-laugh-stick-off-pants-funny-18-22052008.html]]> Jokes Tue, 27 May 2008 05:48:33 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/sticky-off-bottoms-t79.htm#147 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/sticky-off-bottoms-t79.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/things-only-a-mum-can-teach-t78.htm Overseer My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until your father gets home." My Mother taught me about RECEIVING:. "You are going to get it when we get home!" My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE: "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you... Don't talk back to me!" My Mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why." And ... "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the ... Jokes Tue, 27 May 2008 01:21:45 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/things-only-a-mum-can-teach-t78.htm#146 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/things-only-a-mum-can-teach-t78.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/women-are-so-much-smarter-t77.htm Overseer When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So, one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million pounds." Impressed, the woman went home with ... Jokes Tue, 27 May 2008 01:15:07 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/women-are-so-much-smarter-t77.htm#145 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/women-are-so-much-smarter-t77.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/girls-in-a-lift-t75.htm Overseer Talk about getting the pants scared out of you ... Hehehe!

http://funzu.com/index.php/crazy-video/girls-in-an-elevator-funny-adv.html]]> Jokes Tue, 27 May 2008 01:00:02 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/girls-in-a-lift-t75.htm#143 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/girls-in-a-lift-t75.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/a-woman-s-wish-t64.htm Overseer A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered. He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes, and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not help but stare. The man noticed that he was the object of the woman's rapt attention, and with a sly, sexy smile, approached her. Blushing, she ... Jokes Sat, 10 May 2008 06:31:54 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/a-woman-s-wish-t64.htm#97 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/a-woman-s-wish-t64.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/women-s-problems-start-with-men-t58.htm Overseer Believe it or not. Woman has Man in it; Mrs. has Mr . in it; Female has Male in it; She has He in it; Madam has Adam in it; No wonder men always want to be inside women! Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman..., Why? BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before: MEN tal illness MENstrual cramps ... Jokes Sun, 13 Apr 2008 07:04:07 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/women-s-problems-start-with-men-t58.htm#74 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/women-s-problems-start-with-men-t58.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/a-gujarati-boy-t52.htm Overseer One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give £20 to the child who can tell me who was the most respected man, whom people consider God, who ever lived." An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct." Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's ... Jokes Tue, 01 Apr 2008 01:44:19 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/a-gujarati-boy-t52.htm#63 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/a-gujarati-boy-t52.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/what-woman-say-and-what-it-means-t51.htm Overseer Can't We Just Be Friends? .... What she means ... There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again. I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. ...What she means ... Without you in it! Do I Look Fat In This Dress? ... What she means ... We haven't had a fight in a while. NO, PIZZA'S FINE. ... What she means ... You cheap sod! I just don't want a boyfriend now. What she means ... I just don't want you as a boyfriend now. I Don't Know, What Do YOU ... Jokes Tue, 01 Apr 2008 01:36:04 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/what-woman-say-and-what-it-means-t51.htm#62 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/what-woman-say-and-what-it-means-t51.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/troubled-husband-t50.htm Overseer Dear Mrs. Fenton: Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our shop. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our shops. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below. Mr. ... Jokes Tue, 01 Apr 2008 01:13:29 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/troubled-husband-t50.htm#61 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/troubled-husband-t50.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/types-of-girls-t49.htm Overseer CD-ROM GIRLS She is always faster and faster. EMAIL GIRLS Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense . HARD DISK GIRLS She remembers everything, FOREVER! INTERNET GIRLS Difficult to access MULTIMEDIA GIRLS She makes a horrible thing look beautiful SCREENSAVER GIRLS She is good for nothing but at least she is fun RAM GIRLS She forget about you, the moment turn her off WINDOW GIRLS Everyone know that she can't ... Jokes Tue, 01 Apr 2008 01:04:56 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/types-of-girls-t49.htm#60 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/types-of-girls-t49.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/please-make-me-a-woman-t44.htm Overseer A man was sick and tired of goingto work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen. God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast ... Jokes Mon, 31 Mar 2008 04:55:13 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/please-make-me-a-woman-t44.htm#55 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/please-make-me-a-woman-t44.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/divorced-barbie-t42.htm Overseer A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a pressie. He drove to shop and ran in the toy store and he asked the store manager, "How much is that new Barbie in the window?" The Manager replied, "Which one? We have 'Barbie goes to the gym' for £19.95, 'Barbie goes to the Ball' for £19.95, 'Barbie goes shopping' for £19.95, 'Barbie goes to the beach' for £19.95, 'Barbie goes to the Nightclub' for ... Jokes Mon, 31 Mar 2008 04:37:32 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/divorced-barbie-t42.htm#53 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/divorced-barbie-t42.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/english-briton-european-vs-asian-t41.htm Overseer Who says our English is teruk? Just see below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight to the point, effective etc... WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS English/Britons/European: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you. Asian : No Stock. RETURNING A CALL English/Britons/European: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago? Asian : Hello, who page? ASKING ... Jokes Sat, 29 Mar 2008 03:18:00 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/english-briton-european-vs-asian-t41.htm#52 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/english-briton-european-vs-asian-t41.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/give-me-a-break-pal-t40.htm Overseer Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot. The Indian man said to the American, "You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now I have a hell lot of family problems." The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my ... Jokes Sat, 29 Mar 2008 03:01:29 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/give-me-a-break-pal-t40.htm#51 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/give-me-a-break-pal-t40.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/easy-a-man-complicated-a-woman-t39.htm Overseer A brand new store has just opened in New York City, U.S.A. that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!" There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store ... Jokes Sat, 29 Mar 2008 02:58:19 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/easy-a-man-complicated-a-woman-t39.htm#50 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/easy-a-man-complicated-a-woman-t39.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/famous-people-t38.htm Admin This guy goes into a pub and sits at a table with his drink. Soon, a guy, Fred, sits next to him and they start chatting. 'Yeah, Angelina Jolie is nice' says Fred. 'I'm seeing her later'. The guy doesnt believe Fred, so Fred says 'well wait outside the Dorchester at around 8 tomorrow morning and youll see.' So the guy waits and at 8.30, Fred and Angelina come out. Fred gets a goodbye kiss and he strolls over to the waiting guy. 'Wow, sorry I doubted you' says the guy. 'Thats ok' says ... Jokes Tue, 25 Mar 2008 09:02:33 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/famous-people-t38.htm#49 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/famous-people-t38.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-marriage-rules-t37.htm Overseer A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my mates whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?" His new bride replied, "No, that's ... Jokes Tue, 25 Mar 2008 06:42:58 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-marriage-rules-t37.htm#48 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-marriage-rules-t37.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/fooling-with-fruit-t36.htm Overseer A mother and daughter loved to play around. They partied everyday and always ended up fucking everybody around. Their holes were played until they became seasoned and loose. One day, the daughter met the man of her dreams and decided to get married. Now, the man did not know about their flicks and thought the daughter was still a virgin. So he decided to leave any lovemaking until their wedding night. The daughter began to worry about the condition of her hole and consulted her mother, "Mum, ... Jokes Tue, 25 Mar 2008 06:17:50 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/fooling-with-fruit-t36.htm#47 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/fooling-with-fruit-t36.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-farting-lesson-t35.htm Overseer Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, ... Jokes Tue, 25 Mar 2008 06:15:20 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-farting-lesson-t35.htm#46 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-farting-lesson-t35.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-art-of-a-hand-job-t34.htm Overseer A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine. On the way home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way. "Well, okay," he says, "how about a blow job?" "Yuck!" ... Jokes Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:47:06 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-art-of-a-hand-job-t34.htm#45 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-art-of-a-hand-job-t34.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/an-innocent-husband-t33.htm Overseer Roger is a hard worker, and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend, his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club. The doorman at the club spots them and says "Hey Roger! How are you tonight?" His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before. "No, no. He's just one of the guys I bowl with." They are seated, and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says ... Jokes Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:45:01 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/an-innocent-husband-t33.htm#44 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/an-innocent-husband-t33.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/account-for-that-t32.htm Overseer A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads... Dear Wife, I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary." When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows... Dear Husband, I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with my handsome and virile 18 year old boy toy. AND, you, ... Jokes Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:39:45 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/account-for-that-t32.htm#43 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/account-for-that-t32.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/fivers-and-tenners-too-t31.htm Overseer As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the piggy bank onto the floor where it smashes. To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of fivers and tenners. He asks his wife "What's up with all the notes?", to his wife which replies, "Well, not everyone is as cheap ... Jokes Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:27:59 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/fivers-and-tenners-too-t31.htm#42 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/fivers-and-tenners-too-t31.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/single-condoms-college-and-married-condoms-t30.htm Overseer A young boy and his father were in a store when they walked past a rack of condoms. Being a curious young lad, the boy asked his father, "What are these things daddy?" His dad said, "Condoms son." The boy asked, "Why do they come in packs of 1,3, and 12?" The dad replied, "The packs with one are for the high school boys, one for Saturday night, the ones with three are for the college boys, one for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and the ones with twelve in them ... Jokes Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:22:29 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/single-condoms-college-and-married-condoms-t30.htm#41 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/single-condoms-college-and-married-condoms-t30.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-300-quid-blow-job-career-t29.htm Overseer A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn £300 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to ... Jokes Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:20:04 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-300-quid-blow-job-career-t29.htm#40 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-300-quid-blow-job-career-t29.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/she-sucks-em-dry-t28.htm Overseer A young teenaged girl was a working girl and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of working girls, including the young girl. The working girls were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighbourhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic. Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, ... Jokes Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:06:17 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/she-sucks-em-dry-t28.htm#38 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/she-sucks-em-dry-t28.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-price-of-the-well-hung-cock-t27.htm Overseer A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular corner and informed her he would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or problems. A gentleman pulled up shortly after and asked her how much to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her husband. The husband told her to tell the client £100. She ... Jokes Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:02:27 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-price-of-the-well-hung-cock-t27.htm#37 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-price-of-the-well-hung-cock-t27.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-real-meaning-behind-the-abbreviations-in-personal-ads-t24.htm aphrodite FIRST THE WOMEN 40-ish - 48 Adventurer - Has had more partners than you ever will Athletic - Flat-chested Average looking - Ugly Beautiful - Pathological liar Contagious Smile - Bring your penicillin Educated - College dropout Emotionally Secure - Medicated Feminist - Fat; ball buster Free spirit - Substance user Friendship first - Trying to live down reputation as slut Fun - Annoying Gentle - Comatose Good Listener - Borderline Autistic New-Age - All ... Jokes Sun, 23 Mar 2008 19:40:11 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-real-meaning-behind-the-abbreviations-in-personal-ads-t24.htm#30 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/the-real-meaning-behind-the-abbreviations-in-personal-ads-t24.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/25-things-not-to-say-to-a-naked-man-t23.htm aphrodite That's it? Wow - look at all the hair on your back! Maybe you should start going to the gym more. That was fine, dear...pass me my vibrator? Wake me when it's over, ok? I think the condom's too big. Zzzzzz.... You want me to _what_?!? Well, that explains the padded pants. Did you take out the garbage yet? My husband's in the Marines. He's due home any day now. Is that a toupee? So THAT's what your ex warned me about! No. Surgery might be able to help. ... Jokes Sun, 23 Mar 2008 19:32:18 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/25-things-not-to-say-to-a-naked-man-t23.htm#29 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/25-things-not-to-say-to-a-naked-man-t23.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/unlucky-wife-t22.htm aphrodite A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still ... Jokes Tue, 18 Mar 2008 14:44:11 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/unlucky-wife-t22.htm#28 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/unlucky-wife-t22.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/quick-marriage-t21.htm aphrodite A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. So one morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half-tuck gainer, this was followed by a three ... Jokes Tue, 18 Mar 2008 14:40:57 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/quick-marriage-t21.htm#27 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/quick-marriage-t21.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/sex-out-of-town-t20.htm aphrodite A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl. "Well, I should have mentioned this before, ... Jokes Tue, 18 Mar 2008 14:39:39 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/sex-out-of-town-t20.htm#26 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/sex-out-of-town-t20.htm http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/how-to-tackle-problems-t19.htm aphrodite A man walked up to a farm house and knocks on the door. When a woman opened the door, the man ask if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door. Again, though, the man knocked, and asked the same question. Not amused, the woman screamed at him and told him to leave. Later that evening, the woman told her husband of the incident. He said he'd stay home the following day just in case the man returned. Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with ... Jokes Tue, 18 Mar 2008 10:09:27 GMT http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/how-to-tackle-problems-t19.htm#25 http://mothership.heavenforum.com/jokes-f2/how-to-tackle-problems-t19.htm