The Hormone Guide

The Hormone Guide
Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!


Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be carried like a drivers license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!


DANGEROUS ...1. What's for dinner? 2.Are you wearing that? 3. What are you so worked up about?
4. Should you be eating that? 5. What did you DO all day?

SAFER ... 1. Can I help you with dinner? 2. You sure look good in brown. 3. Could we be overreacting?
4. You know, there are a lot of apples left.. 5. I hope you didnt over do it today?

SAFEST ... 1. Where would you like to go for dinner? 2. WOW! Look at you! 3. Heres my paycheck.
4. Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that? 5. Ive always loved you in that dressing gown.

ULTRA SAFE ... 1. Here, have some wine. 2. Here, have some wine. 3. Here, have some wine.
4. Here, have some wine. 5. Here, have some wine.


13 Things PMS Stands For

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one:

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Forward this information to all of your friends and those who might need a good laugh...
and men who need a warning.

And, have some wine.